Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
