I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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