Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
