i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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