i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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