For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
