Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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