we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
