Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
