she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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