Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
