in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
