actually, I'm a sock model
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
