shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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