I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
