is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
