If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
