Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
