Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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