bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize