In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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