So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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