Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Randomize
