i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
