don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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