You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
