Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
