"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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