can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
