I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize