I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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