just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
