We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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