You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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