Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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