people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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