But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
More tranny stories later!
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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