at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
