I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
how drunk are you?
Several
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
