You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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