that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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