If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
