I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
