it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
