so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
