Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
