Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
