did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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