non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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