it was like eating out sand paper
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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