I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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