I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
