all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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