so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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