Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
