I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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