Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
