I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
