He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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