haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
