this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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